Collaboration or Control? When Clients Want to Co-Design Every Detail

I’ll admit it straight away: I was that client. The one who shows up with a 200-pin mood board, a tape measure in her handbag, and an Excel spreadsheet titled My Future Living Room (Version 14).

I was so insufferably opinionated that halfway through my own projects, I thought, “You know what, I should probably just become an interior designer — it’ll be less embarrassing than hiring one and driving them mad.”

And so I did.

I should probably just become an interior designer — it’ll be less embarrassing than hiring one and driving them mad.

It turns out, I wasn’t the only one. The design world is full of clients who are deeply passionate about their homes — and that’s a good thing. Enthusiasm is fuel. But it can also become friction when it edges into micromanagement. Somewhere between “I love being part of the process” and “I’ve already bought the sofa you said wouldn’t fit”, things start to unravel.

When Enthusiasm Becomes Interference

Designers often talk about that moment — when a project shifts from collaboration to chaos. The late-night texts. The alternative floor plan drawn on the back of a napkin. The steady flow of “just one more idea” emails.

It’s always well-intentioned, but too many cooks really do spoil the colour palette. A home can’t be designed by committee. Even the most beautiful individual choices clash when there’s no single, guiding vision.

And yet, clients keep doing it — mostly because they care. They’ve been planning this for years, they’ve saved for it, and they’ve dreamt every corner into existence. It’s personal. But that’s also why it matters to trust the process rather than steer it.

Why Designers Need Creative Space

Interior design isn’t about taking orders; it’s about translation. Designers make sense of hundreds of ideas, emotions, and references — turning them into a space that works in reality, not just online.

They juggle proportion, light, flow, and material behaviour. They know which stone stains if you so much as look at it the wrong way, and which finish will still look good five years down the line. They’re the editors in a world drowning in visual noise.

Letting a designer lead doesn’t mean losing control. It means your ideas get refined, not diluted — filtered through expertise so they actually work in three dimensions.

How to Collaborate Without Losing the Plot

It is entirely possible to be an involved client and a dream collaborator. It just takes a little self-awareness and structure.

• Start with a clear brief. Know what you love and what you can’t stand, then step back and let the designer interpret it.

• Ask, don’t instruct. “Would this work?” opens dialogue. “I’ve ordered this” often triggers panic.

• Pick your moments. Scheduled reviews work far better than real-time commentary.

• Remember why you asked for help. Expertise isn’t there to override your taste — it’s there to elevate it.

A Reformed Client’s View

These days, I still have opinions (many of them). But I’ve learnt that the magic happens when trust replaces control. When you stop managing every detail and start enjoying the process, the results are usually far better than what you could have achieved on your own.

When you stop managing every detail and start enjoying the process, the results are usually far better than what you could have achieved on your own.

So yes, I was once the nightmare client (and probably still would be). Now I’m just the person who understands them completely — smiling knowingly when someone says they’ve created Version 15 of their plan. Because I’ve been there. And honestly, that’s probably what made me fall in love with design in the first place.